Saturday, February 27, 2010

Always behave like a duck...

...stay calm and collected on the surface, but paddle like the devil beneath the water!
I love that quote, and that was my motto throughout this week. Do you ever feel like the entire universe is against you? I am usually a very happy-go-lucky, laid back person, but a few days out of the month, I feel like no matter what I do things are not going to go my way or how I planned for them to go, so I might as well just suck it up, deal with it and wait for the storm to pass, knowing the sun WILL come out again eventually. There wasn't anything tragic or overtly malicious that happened to me this week. It was just a bunch of little things that kept happening, and happening, aaaaaand happening, until finally I reach the point where I just have to laugh and say "seriously???". Some of this could be due to hormones, which can make a person a bit irrational. I know it is also because of mental and physical exhaustion. I get emotional and irrational when I'm tired, and working two jobs while doing a pretty strict training regime for my upcoming races has started to catch up with me. I really do feel like I have weeks, however, where everything goes my way and I'm walking on cloud nine, but I never let myself get too comfortable because I know it won't last forever. Just like the bad times don't last forever. It's hard to explain to someone else why I'm having such a terrible day, because all the little things that happen really are not a big deal at all, but when they keep happening, I eventually reach my breaking point and have a good cry. The funny thing is, it's usually something REALLY small that eventually make me cry, like a pencil breaking, or stubbing my toe. It's the accumulation of events, not one particular event, that causes the cry. After that, I'm usually ok and things start to turn up again. Amongst a million other teeny things that happened on Thursday, the icing on the cake was that I made myself go to the gym for my 6 mile tempo run, as much as I just wanted to go home and pull the covers over my head. The goal was to hold 6:45-7:00 pace for each mile, which I did. But I struggle on treadmills- something about constantly being able to check how much longer I have left makes it a lot more difficult than running outside for me. So I need a good soundtrack to keep me going. For some reason, my Ipod was against me that night too, and as I began to struggle mentally with the run, and the temptation to hit the "slow down" button was creeping up on me, I needed some solid rock music to pull me through. Well, my Ipod somehow chose every slow song known to mankind- love songs, symphony music, you name it, it played it. I frantically kept hitting "next", but to no avail. I finally just accepted this run was going to make me more mentally tough; I buried my head down, did my best to encourage myself and not look at how much time I had left. I was able to finish the run with a 6:45 average pace, which was my goal, but man was it tough. And then, my Ipod decided it would break after that! I just laughed. I've gone through so many days like this in my life now that I know you just have to get through it and it will get better, but man do they suck! I won't go into detail about everything else that happened because frankly, it's boring. I had a lovely dinner with a wonderful friend last night, and that helps. Friends, a bit of mental toughness, and faith are what pull you through rough times. I can already feel things getting better, so once again, I know I will be fine. I think you need days like that to not take the good days for granted. My coping skills sure have sharpened since I've become an adult and there are a lot more things that can go wrong!
One thing in particular that kept me going through this week was the wonderful news that I found out one of my very best friends, Michelle, is coming to visit me for 5 days in March! I can't even begin to explain how excited I am. We have a good time no matter what, but I can't wait to show her what my life is like in North Carolina. I had the opportunity to visit her in New York City and it was one of my most favorite vacations. Now, when I talk to her on the phone, I have a visual of what her life is like. We have gone in such different paths since high school and college and it's amazing to see what the lives of people you are close with are like. I miss her and cannot wait to see her!
Other random thoughts- I am actually excited for Jessica Simpson's new show on VH1- I am fascinated by perceptions of beauty and think it will be very educational. Who would of thought? And, I really like Daughtry's new song. Especially the quote, "All that I'm after is a life full of laughter". Exactly! Can anyone guess what channel I'm watching right now?

Thanks for listening to me rant, everyone. Have a wonderful weekend!!
Goofing off with my NEW Mac!

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